planes, trains and automobiles: part II, the [whole freakin'] USA

Alright team.

You've been so very patient with me. (And for good reason, might I add. My computer is a dinosaur, and I've been avoiding doing anything with it apart from absolutely necessary tasks, and even then it puts up a fight.)

So, for the sake of your collective eyesight and attention span, I'm going to keep this story incredibly succint, and tell it mostly through pictures. Kind of like kindergarten.

So, sit back, and please don't ask me when recess is (because I will answer "5 minutes," always).

After an all-too-brief but totally wonderful visit with Greg's family in Arlington, Mom and Peter drove down from NYC. We brought the families (or, part of mine and all of his) together for some pizza, and breathed a sigh of relief because it seemed that everyone liked everyone else. Hooray!

We drove down to Williamsburg, where we met up with Katie, and stayed with our family friends for a few days. (I also fell madly in love with their English sheepdog, Bentley.) During this visit, I had a GLORIOUS reunion with some of my favorites:


There were, of course, other favorites who I got to see, but unfortunately, I don't have photos. Next time!

After this (again) all-too-brief visit, we headed out for California. buuut not before we said goodbye to our house in our own special way:


(if you haven't been introduced to the internet-phenomenon known as planking, this will all seem very bizzare.)

Anyway, we made it all of 4 hours into Western Virginia (what a place.) before we found FOAMhenge. (emphasis mine). I wish we had pictures. But if you can imagine Stonehenge, but with foam...you've pretty much got it.

We did see something slightly more spectacular, however. Natural Bridge. One of the 7 New Wonders of the World, it's basically a huge bridge made from centuries of erosion by a river (or that was my sleep-deprived understanding of the plaque). More excitingly, here's where I get to introduce John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, our traveling snowman companion (also known as a dashboard toy given to us by Toyota for having our car repaired. OH the advertising bucks they should be shelling out...)

There it is. Not pictured: the really bizzare gift shop with a statue of a man riding a T-Rex in front of it. And, for the Anglophiles in the house, a sign directing us to Glasgow, Virginia.

Moving right along, we ended up in Cookeville, TN that night.

Note the adorable friend that Schmidt found.

After that, it was back on the road. Day 2 was a little more dismal...and rainy. And generally less fun than discovering Natural Bridge.

It did, however, conclude with a stop for dinner in Little Rock, Arkansas, and to my deep and abiding commitment to illustrating my travels via an odd, commercialized stuffed snowman, I brought Schmidt into the Cracker Barrel with us. In addition to receiving several shunning glances from my sister, and a few from perfect strangers, when I walked up to the hostess stand, I had the following encounter:

Hostess (to me): Would you like a kid's menu?
Me: Sorry?
Hostess: Would you like a kid's menu?
Me: No, I'd like an adult menu... (and I start mentally bemoaning being the shortest sibling)
Hostess: I mean for him.
Me: Who?
Hostess: The little one.
Me: .....
Hostess: OH, I saw the red hoodie and just thought he was yours!
Me: ....nope. Just a snowman.
Whole restaurant (thinking): what kind of a freakshow is this family?

And as a result:

This is Schmidt, as my first-born child. Don't I make a great mother?

Ah. Only in Arkansas.

Anyhow! We made it to Dallas, Texas that night. And as we left the next morning, we continued our unlikely trip around the globe with....

The Taj Mahal. Not pictured: shiny dinosaur sculptures in the front garden. Possibly more bizarre than Foamhenge? Jury's out.

Now, the next photo-taken outside of Odessa, TX, aka the middle of nowhere-- will pretty much sum up the rest of the journey, which pretty much dissolved into madness in the form of singing along to musicals at the top of our lungs, making Schmidt dance along to whatever song happened to be playing (and laughing like it was the most amusing thing ever), going on a search for the most delicious Tex-Mex food (and finding it! in Midland, TX), seeing a few illegal immigrants pulled over by cops (with guns, on occasion, eep), therefore becoming unnecessarily paranoid about stopping in El Paso (to the point that as the driver, I refused to take a bathroom break, even at a clearly benign Macaroni Grill), ooh-ing and aah-ing at desert sunsets, driving the road with the highest speed limit in the US (80, for the record. It was also my turn at the wheel. Grand)....and generally wishing that Texas were smaller.

D'awww. Cutest.

Arizona was much the same, except my mom made us take A THOUSAND videos of the joshua trees, which somehow, I managed not to have on my phone. They were pretty fantastic, though. This is also the point at which wearing the Santa hats that we had been storing for kicks and giggles in the backseat became the greatest joke ever. Everything is more hilarious when said with a Santa hat on. Particularly if you've been in the car for several days.

And finally, FINALLY, we made it to the Pacific Time Zone. (lemme tell ya, it's a trip to gain an hour every day. Spoiled us rotten, but probably made our insane driving schedule possible).

Check us out! Not pictured: The HOOVER DAM. That's right. It was right in front of us, looming terrifying high off the ground. We also almost dropped Schmidt over the edge trying to capture the moment. Guess I'm not the greatest mother after all. (Those photos are on my mom's phone, unfortunately.) So you'll just have to settle for this measly old state sign.

That night, we stayed in VEGAS, BABY. Paris, to be exact. Only we were so exhausted that we only had energy to eat the delicious food, ooh and ahh over the enormity and cheesiness of the whole place, and crash in bed. But Schmidt had a great time.

My boy is growing up..... and sneaking off to Vegas....*sniffle*

After that, it was 100 miles between ghost-towns and gas stations in the desert on the backside of the Sierra Nevadas. That, friends, is a desolate place. But also stark and lovely. We'd finally hit our rhythm by this point, so it was just another fun driving day of Santa-hat wearing and laughing till we cried and eating way. too. much. SmartPop.

Sadly, this is the last photo I have before we got to California, and I stopped having steady access to internet / mobile uploads. So as soon as I find myself with wireless internet access again, I will find a way to get those photos off my phone! Until then, this gem will just have to suffice:

Katie and Schmidt, just shootin' the breeze in Death Valley.

That night, we arrived in Tahoe (well, Truckee, technically), where we got to settle into the best, coziest cabin in the whole wide world, and spend a Christmas together, and hang around the house alternately eating and doing nothing, and occasionally hang out by the lake like this:

What could be happier? (Except maybe our brother squished in there next to us :))

From there, it was just another 4 hours west to Menlo Park, and tons of family! Aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins-to-be, grandparents, family friends, great aunts and uncles, you name it-- and so much love that my heart about exploded with joy. New Year's was particularly wonderful--spent at my cousin Spence & Jadie's new house, laughing so hard I nearly peed myself on several occasions. But what's new with that one? I couldn't have asked for more.

Finally, we took off to drop Peter off in L.A....by way of Disneyland. As we barreled down I-5, however, I had to write an essay worth 50% of my grade for one class. What an adventure. But we made it, more or less in one frazzled piece after L.A. rush hour. We stayed in a fabulous hotel near L.A. Live, and I pulled (quite literally) an all-nighter to reach 4,000 words. And THEN, one glorious day of Disney magic with my family. I wish I had the photos for the sheer glee on our faces. It was like we were 6 years old again, and it was fantastic.

The worst was leaving: Peter dropped us off at the airport and (bless his heart) had to hug us 3 weeping women and send us on our way...Katie was on her way back to South Carolina, and Mom and I flew into Richmond, VA. After all our time in the car together, it just felt so wrong not to be within fingertip's reach of one another!

But we made it back to Williamsburg, recovered there, hung out with old friends and tied up some loose ends....before one last car ride up to NYC (minus the 1/2 of the dream team....heartbreak!)

Mom and I spent our week looking for apartments for her (to jump to the present-day...she's found one!!), playing with my FABULOUS little cousins (bedtime stories are officially my favorite at this age), eating delicious food, having good conversations, and watching How I Met Your Mother like it was our job.

And after 5 weeks with my family, a huge trip across the country and back, lots of laughter and not a few tears...I was so not ready to get back on that plane.

But, once I tearfully made it through security, waved goodbye to my mom (who, mercifully, made ridiculous faces the whole way through), and got my game-face back...I remembered the fabulous life I had waiting for me on the other side.

Of course, it didn't seem so beautiful at 6 am on the Tube to London Euston. But once I got to pass out on the train to Glasgow for 5 hours, and wake up to a cheerful boyfriend meeting me, even the awful sleeting weather couldn't deter me from feeling at home again.


AND there you have it, folks. There And Back Again: A Christy's Tale. (please be a nerd and get the Tolkien reference).