an outdated update

Yesterday:

Well, I am more or less in one piece.

I’m writing this particular entry from Heathrow, to be posted later because this airport is stingy with their WiFi, and I’m equally as stingy with my funds. Might as well wait for the internet I’m paying for, right?

Anyhow, here I am, sitting in that frickin’ holding tank in Terminal 5, drinking a pretty bad Americano, and feeling like my life is really surreal. By which I mean, I’m fully aware that all my (apparently very heavy) crap is somewhere around here waiting, like me, to get to Scotland. But I don’t think it’s quiiiiite sunk in that I’m not just here for a visit. It’s probably the sleep-deprivation (although I have to give a shout-out to British Airways for the best sleep I’ve ever had on a red-eye)…but it kinda feel as though I just exist in airport-world. The whole leaving and having a life somewhere after my plane lands in about 3 hours is more than I’m currently able to comprehend.

And what’s probably sadder is that I’m sitting in an exciting airport, writing (at least literally) to no one. But the thing I want to be doing right now is updating all my loved ones back home that I’m alive and well and totally exhausted and marveling at the middle aged woman in front of me wearing—I kid you not—pink jeans and a top that looks like a disco ball. It’s 10:30 am. London, I’ve missed you.

Ooops, she just spoke French. My people-watching skills need some honing.

Anyway, my point is that I miss home already. Not in a bad, I wish I hadn’t come here way. But just in the sense that I’m…well, a little older (hopefully a little wiser, too) than when I was a little sophomore (who let the 19 year old go to Scotland for 5 months? I was such a silly person at 19!). Anyway, last time I was testing the waters; I didn’t know what it’d be like to leave home behind. Actually, I was kinda glad to because I never had. Now I guess I’m starting to feel I the weight of starting off on my own adventure.

And I gotta say, this version’s a little more somber. And deliberate. And yes, exciting, but in an oddly peaceful way. I’m content and at home, even in this silly airport. And I think those are all really good things, actually. Because—get ready for this—I think it may mean I'm not just flinging myself through the universe anymore. :)